Super Bowl from Hell

SUBHEAD: January 31st 2015 the Patriots vs Seahawks matchup will be the Super Bowl from Hell.  .

By Jim Buzinski on 28 December 2014 for -

Image above: Tom Brady, the Patriot's quarterback celebrates. Photo by Stew Milne. From original article.

If the the seedings hold in the NFL playoffs, the Super Bowl will be my greatest nightmare -- New England vs. Seattle -- the two teams I hate the most. The worst part is that one of them would have to win. Update: Hell is upon us. It will be Seattle vs. New England. This is the matchup for the  February 1st 2015 Super Bowl.

I will be rooting for a giant meteor to strike Earth shortly before the 6:30 p.m. Eastern kickoff. I will be blown to bits, of course, along with every other human being, so that's the downside. The upside is that the Patriots and Seahawks will be deprived of a Super Bowl title. There are always tradeoffs in life.

The Patriots have been the NFL's Evil Empire since 2003 (I liked their 2001 team since it had a Cinderella vibe). They are led by Bill Belichick, the fashion disaster, signal-stealing swinger, which makes them easy to hate. He's also the best coach in the NFL by a mile, which only intensifies the hate.

Their quarterback is Tom Brady, who has become a whiny little twit. He's a sore winner and sore loser. When the Patriots win, he's high-fiving, head-butting and spiking the ball like a rookie scoring his first TD, not a veteran with three rings. And when he loses, he's dropping F-bombs at his defense and acting like a spoiled brat. He's not "fiery" or "competitive," just an annoying jerk.

Brady is not the same QB he once was, but he doesn't have to be. He has the best tight end in football in Rob Gronkowski (the one Patriot I actually like), a shutdown defense and wonderful special teams. Brady's job these days is to put together a couple of drives and not screw things up. For that, he has announcers slobbering over him like he's the 2007 Brady, not a guy near the end of his career and lucky to be with the right team.

Seattle is new to the "being totally annoying" game but they learn fast. Their coach is Pete Carroll, who fled USC one step ahead of the NCAA posse, earning the Trojans major sanctions while he landed a cushy gig in Seattle. This is the same guy who this summer lectured holdout running back Marshawn Lynch on honoring his contact. Gall is not Carroll's short suit.

Image above: Richard Sherman, the Seahawks's cornerback celebrates. From (

The Seahawks version of Tom Brady in the insufferable category is cornerback Richard Sherman, who for some reason has carved out a reputation as an articulate voice of a new generation of players. In fact, he's little more than a boorish loudmouth who loves denigrating opponents. Unfortunately, he's also the best cornerback in football, so no one has yet been able to shut him up.

Those are your two favorites to meet in the Super Bowl -- I might have to watch the Puppy Bowl instead (

Image above: Shot of the live action coverage of the 2014 Puppy Bowl produced by Animal Planet. From (

See also:
Ea O Ka Aina: Screaming id - No Brains - No Honor 2/6/12

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